“I would just write a thousand words. It seems much easier than drawing a picture.”
— Norm MacDonald covering The Masters live on VPN
Easter Pro Tip
Do not exhale inhale breathe while biting into crumb cake.
JOE'S WBBD JRNL
comedy. music. nonsense.
certain songs +
best of wikipedia +
my writing +
humor +
tumblr +
twitter +
instagram +
last.fm +
photos +
flavors +
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Although Taylor remained down-to-earth after their meteoric rise to retail stardom, the same cannot be said of his business partner Kevin.
“All this time you were pretending. So much for my happy ending…”
Somebody told me you had a boyfriend who looked like the girlfriend that I had in February of last year. No, not Stephanie. That was March. And we were never exactly “exclusive.” I’m talking about Heather. Remember, with the pixie hair cut and nose ring? She was always eating Ring Pops… how are you not remembering this? It was a very eccentric affectation. That’s actually why we broke up - her hand was always sticky. I mean, I always thought that was the purpose of Ring Pops - to prevent sticky hands, right? Anyway, it turns out they don’t. But they do dye your teeth red. The cherry ones anyway. But, oh my god, remember Chupa Chups!? Now THAT was a good lollipop.
“What’s the deal with surrealism!? I mean, is it an avant-garde art movement or a person? ‘Hello, Sir Realism. How are you today - tangible, I presume? Genuine? And by the way, when exactly were you knighted?’ Speaking of which, what’s the deal with knighthood!?”
Found out where all the electricity went during Sandy… This drawer of athletic garments made out of synthetic, moisture-wicking fabrics. #static
